Last year, I experimented with a person of truth. I think I’ve fallen short in a lot of my experiments, but I also believe that trying more and more to be like Gramma, is something I’m going to spend a lifetime doing–I will be gentle on myself with this one.
Speaking of Gramma….she is part of what sparked this post. You see, a few days ago she lost her best friend to cancer…pancreatic cancer. I called her yesterday and she said, “this is life now…people will leave me, but I know I’ll see them again.”Gramma gave me perspective on life like I’ve never thought of before. Cherish and treasure the now, because we won’t always have it. Gramma’s strength, joy and life will continue to be an example of what I want to be and have a reputation for. Thanks Gramma.
So.
Experiment with Truth.
I’m going to take a new spin this year too. In conversation with a few great friends, Cait, challenged me to think of ONE word that can define my year. My first thought was surrender. I have learned a lot about that recently and would like to continue to learn about it….but, I was not convinced that would be my year-long experiment word.
It wasn’t until I was driving in the car the other day and a song came on that I LOVE. Skylar Grey has a beautiful song called, “Coming Home” and it makes me shiver.
The part of the song I love reads something like this:
I’m coming home, I’m coming home
Tell the world that I’m coming home
Let the rain wash away
All the pain of yesterday
I know my kingdom awaits
And they’ve forgiven my mistakes
I’m coming home, I’m coming home
Tell the world that I’m coming
I decided my word for this year is HOME. For a few reasons:
- A few years ago I felt like I was very close to a moment, a life, where I had embraced myself. Through various things that happened in the events proceeding that time, I slowly–and unknowingly–lost myself, my heart and esteem. I forgot who I belong to and what my identity rests in….and instead chose to allow my identity to rest in so many other things. I want to bring my heart back home, to a place of safety, security, acceptance and abundant belonging.
- There have been many times in my life when I’ve been so thankful to have the family and the friends I have. I was driving up north with one of my people yesterday and I was commenting to her that it is so freeing to have relationships that feel so much like family that to call them anything else would be foolish. There is a big difference between a house and a home. Just like there is a big difference between friends and family. This year, I want to continue creating, assembling, and belonging to the people that I consider family. To continue building a home in my people.
- Lastly, I think of the Switchfoot song, “This is home”. In the song there is a line that goes,
“I’ve got my heart set on what happens next, I’ve got my eyes wide it’s not over yet, we are miracles and we’re not alone.”
This song has been an anthem in my life for awhile now. The quote above will be my mantra this year. Life is so huge…
So here I go…into 2012. My heart set on the many things that may happen, leaving the pain of the past exactly where it is, and continuing to establish my home, inside and outside my heart.