glimpses of heaven

Sometimes I wonder what heaven will be like…not to get on the whole heaven/hell debate, but I love the idea of new earth, of restoration, of transfiguration.

Tonight, in Living Room, we sang songs.  Oldies but goodies! At one point, I closed my eyes and heard the collective voice of our group singing praises to the Creator and sustainer of life…and I couldn’t help but smile thinking…this is a little glimpse, a little piece of heaven. That moment…when everyone’s voices sounded like angels singing in harmony, it was holy, it was pleasing, it was tender. It was just the piece of Christ I needed and requested to see today.

“and I’ll let my words be few. Jesus I am so in love with you”

Live 58: an interesting take on the “poor will always be among you”

What if the church really did recognize that we could put a dent in poverty?

I’m not entirely sure how I feel about everything in this video…but I was intrigued by a lot of it.

Check it out and let me know your thoughts!

Live 58

 

instances of hope

Lately, my morning prayer has been:

“Let me see glimpses of you in the smallest of places today, Lord Jesus.”

Today, I saw beauty and life in humanity.  Here’s where:

1. I reunited with my children.  They had hair cuts, newly pierced ears, bright white shoes, and big smiles…they had grown up.  It was beautiful to look around at them in the circle today.  They really want their teacher to return…as do I–partially.  Until then though, we are embracing each other and embarking on this beautiful journey of Grade 3!
2. I had to drive to Toronto later this afternoon to pick up something from a friend…in the meantime, I went to Starbucks–I had been given a gift card for Christmas.  I stepped in, ordered my Earl Grey…and with multiple bags in hand, manuovered around to attempt find a seat: no luck.  So, I stood…my mind pacing with the options I had.  I then looked over and saw an elderly lady sitting at a table with two comfy chairs…the other was not in use. I casually walked over and asked if the chair was being used and she awkwardly told me that I could sit there.  Not long after I was trying to make a little nest in my new found home for a few hours, did I manage to knock over my tea…spilled…all over…all over the floor….all over the floor where so many people were walking. yikes.  I flailed around and finally an older gentleman asked if he could help me…within minutes he had a barista come and mop of the floor…thank God for this man! Then, I noticed my tea had an inch of liquid left in the bottom…big time BUMMER. Another older gentleman must’ve seen my look of disappointment and ordered me another one.  The best part was…it was ON THE HOUSE! I then, had a good little convo with the older woman who shared a table with me…we talked about the little things in life are what matter. I thought I was watching a movie of myself.
3. I went to the grocery store and while in line, I saw 2 complete strangers help each other…and then they turned and made conversation with the rest of the line-up. To see joy on 8+ people’s faces was brilliant.  I thought to myself that people do really want humanity to be well. This restful thought, allowed me to smile with pleasure.
4. I’m going to keep this anonymous because I get the impression that my friend would want to keep it that way.  You see, she was on the subway today…and found herself in a conversation with a man who was from Israel.  He began to talk of his sick daughter who had come over here for kidney transplant surgery (or something of the likes) and he was saying that he didn’t have enough money to pay for the medication.  He asked a stranger to help him out. He reached out…and you know what? My friend responded. Not a little…a lot. The reason I’m telling you this is because she asked me if she did the right thing? She questioned if this man was taking advantage of her ability to give him money so generously.  She questioned if and how you can give to everyone else the way she gave to this man.  This made me think…and think…and think some more.  A lot perspectives can be taken here.  Maybe the man totally lied and gave her a run for her money…maybe the man truly needs the money…maybe the man will never return the money to her….and maybe he will return it 10 fold. Hard to know…the most beautiful thing to me though, was not about the money…it was about the heart. The willingness. The unwavering commitment to DO WELL instead of to cling to…A LOT of money.  If the man lied and took the money and ran…well that would suck.  But more than that, he will know that there was a trusting human, a human WILLING to sacrifice for his sake, a human willing to care enough about a perfect stranger…and maybe–maybe not now and not in 2 or 5 or 10 years–just maybe that will change him.  If the man told the truth, my friend just did a REALLY great thing for humanity…helped the poor, saved a child who needs medication.  The crazy thing, I could sit here all night with what-ifs and maybes…but I’m not going to.  I’m simply going to tell my friend thank you. Thank you for being Christ’s hands and feet.  Thank you for having a gut-wrenching feeling of tension in your heart–and for being so honest about it.  Thank you for working past your perceptions or mis-perceptions of what could/should/will happen…and giving–radically giving.  Not only financially…but giving love, care and worth.  You see–she chose to dignify someone today…by hearing them, listening to their needs and responding. Thank you friend…you know who you are…for giving me a HUGE example to hold in my heart of who Christ is and what he calls us to—radical giving without expectation of receiving.  You did a beautiful thing–rather you allowed Christ to do a beautiful thing through you today—whatever the outcome, I believe God honours when we strive to emulate his character in us.  Thank you.

 

Instance of hope…hope in humanity, hope in life, hope in God, love and abundant grace.

I will rest–and rest well—assured that there are instances of wonderful and abounding hope…we just have to open our eyes wide enough to see it.

This inspired me today…

Sometimes I wonder how much talking about issues that matter really does.

 

Apparently, it can do a lot.

Check it.

Nursing to help Homeless

Contentment isn’t a sta…

Contentment isn’t a state of organization, a weight on the scale, a state of better: better kids, better marriage, better health, better house. Contentment is never a matter of circumstances; contentment is always a state of communion — a daily embracing of God. A thankfulness for all the gifts – and moments and life, just as He gives it. Trying harder may only bring harder trials and contentment, it won’t be be found in the resolutions, but in the revolutions – in the turning round to God

Ann Voskamp

Voskamp is a mind heart reader!

Experiment with Truth: 2012 Edition

 

Last year, I experimented with a person of truth.  I think I’ve fallen short in a lot of my experiments, but I also believe that trying more and more to be like Gramma, is something I’m going to spend a lifetime doing–I will be gentle on myself with this one.

Speaking of Gramma….she is part of what sparked this post.  You see, a few days ago she lost her best friend to cancer…pancreatic cancer.  I called her yesterday and she said, “this is life now…people will leave me, but I know I’ll see them again.”Gramma  gave me perspective on life like I’ve never thought of before.  Cherish and treasure the now, because we won’t always have it.  Gramma’s strength, joy and life will continue to be an example of what I want to be and have a reputation for.  Thanks Gramma.

So.

Experiment with Truth.

I’m going to take a new spin this year too. In conversation with a few great friends, Cait, challenged me to think of ONE word that can define my year.  My first thought was surrender.  I have learned a lot about that recently and would like to continue to learn about it….but, I was not convinced that would be my year-long experiment word.

It wasn’t until I was driving in the car the other day and a song came on that I LOVE.  Skylar Grey has a beautiful song called, “Coming Home” and it makes me shiver.

The part of the song I love reads something like this:

 

I’m coming home, I’m coming home

Tell the world that I’m coming home

Let the rain wash away

All the pain of yesterday

I know my kingdom awaits

And they’ve forgiven my mistakes

I’m coming home, I’m coming home

Tell the world that I’m coming

 

I decided my word for this year is HOME.  For a few reasons:

1. A few years ago I felt like I was very close to a moment, a life, where I had embraced myself.  Through various things that happened in the events proceeding that time, I slowly–and unknowingly–lost myself, my heart and esteem.  I forgot who I belong to and what my identity rests in….and instead chose to allow my identity to rest in so many other things.  I want to bring my heart back home, to a place of safety, security, acceptance and abundant belonging.
2. There have been many times in my life when I’ve been so thankful to have the family and the friends I have.  I was driving up north with one of my people yesterday and I was commenting to her that it is so freeing to have relationships that feel so much like family that to call them anything else would be foolish.  There is a big difference between a house and a home.  Just like there is a big difference between friends and family. This year, I want to continue creating, assembling, and belonging to the people that I consider family.  To continue building  a home in my people.
3. Lastly, I think of the Switchfoot song, “This is home”.  In the song there is a line that goes,

   “I’ve got my heart set on what happens next, I’ve got my eyes wide it’s not over yet, we are miracles and we’re not alone.”

   This song has been an anthem in my life for awhile now.  The quote above will be my mantra this year.  Life is so huge…

 

So here I go…into 2012.  My heart set on the many things that may happen, leaving the pain of the past exactly where it is, and continuing to establish my home, inside and outside my heart.

I was born this wayyyyyyyyy…

Today, at school…one of the girls decided that she was going to present her dance without her partner (aka SOLO) in front of 29 other students.  I thought she was pretty brave.

Watching her get up there and dance her coreographed dance reminded of what freedom should look like.
She didn’t care what anyone thought and gave it everything she had.  She danced to Lady Gaga’s song, “Born this Way”.  I can’t say I’m the biggest LG fan…but it was pretty great to see this young girl defying the stereotypical norm of a grade 5 student and letting her 29 peers know that she was born “this” way and was seemingly proud of it.

 

power of words

my mom sent me this…it really made me think.  especially in light of everything going on right now.

Migwech Vi’s Island–Migwech

So I just recently returned from the bush, where a lot of learning, laughing and healing took place.  I thought instead of trying to recount through words for you what I learned and things that happened I would simply create a photo essay to try and express through picture all the great things that went on on Vi’s Island, on Lovesick Lake.  It was an experience I think I will hold very close to my heart for years to come…
(photo creds: Krystal)

Only Mrs. A to my Noah

Today was an interesting day.

I woke up and felt a little off…I read for a bit and sat admiring the beauty that had risen (SUN!) for awhile in deep thought.  About a lot of things, from life, to friends stretched out all the way to love…
Anyways, I continued feeling–hmmmmmmmm–I’m not entirely sure how to define it, sort of like a fish on land, a yellow smartie amongst a bowl full of red, a little bit of a misfit.
It’s actually funny because I was ALL ALONE…so it’s not certain people that make me feel this way, or a lack of people, or geographics, it’s purely my head and heart.
I began to pray and immediately thought that I hadn’t seen D-Rock or Morrie in such a long time.  So, I jumped in my car and drove down to see my non-blood/heart family.  It’s funny how important a dog can make you feel…Morrie always looks forward to seeing me and has this tiny YELP! which sorta sounds like a squeal…and is running in circles around me almost too excited to even let me touch him!
I sat with D-Rock in her garden and we caught up on life…she’s so wise.  Not that I didn’t know that before, but I was reminded again of the loveliness and the wisdom that she so lovingly imparts.
We discussed my tensions of being so unsure of my future path, we talked about if I should stay or go.  I said that I feel equally strong about both.  She said, “well you’re just not meant to know yet…it’ll come.” MANNNNNNNNNNN, smart woman eh?!
I’ve kept those words in me throughout the rest of my day.

Funnily enough, something else happened today that has now left me with a smile on my exhausted face.
I went to help my dad tile a bathroom for a family at his church.  Upon getting to the house there were three lovely kids, aging from SK/1- grade 4.  They had just got a hamster and boy were they excited.
I was in looking at the hamster and my dad came up and introduced me to them…he said, this is my daughter Amanda, you can call her Ms. Marlow though.
They gave me a blank stare and I quickly said, just call me Amanda…we are friends.

It reminded me of Room 5 with Mr. B.  There was a kid, one of my favs, Noah.  He was a kid who was a little rough around the edges, he really tested people before he trusted them, and he ALWAYS rebelled.  From day one Noah and I hit it off, I played some silly game with him at Camp Kawartha and I guess he thought that he’d let me in to his beautiful heart.  And I’m so thankful he did.
When we got back to the classroom, I was telling the class a story and it involved my grandpa.  I remember in the story having to say my first name.  Noah thought that was just great that he now knew my “real” name.  So, he started calling me Amanda.  (For those of you that know me, you probably know that I wouldn’t normally care and that in fact, I wish kids could call me by my first name).  We’ve been told in school that we have to go by Ms./Mrs./Mr.  It just is what it is.  So I kindly talked to Noah about calling Ms. Marlow.  He didn’t like that very much and asked, well can I call you Mrs. A?
So I said sure.
From that day, until my last day in the classroom with Noah…only on the days when he didn’t call me “Momma Mia” would he call Mrs. A.
I love that for so many reasons…but most of all, because it’s my name from Noah.
It’s funny how meaningful names can be…something I’ve always loved is nicknames.  I particularly love when it’s a special name…a name that no one else can call you except the person that created it.

On the ride home tonight, I recalled that story and smiled big because I had the honour of interacting with Noah.  In the big picture of life, I have no idea where I’m going to be, who I’m going to be, if I will be lucky enough to be with anyone…but I was reminded today that God is good. God knows…and he knows far more than I can or should.  God’s timing allowed me to in Noah’s life for 5 weeks…and more importantly, allowed Noah to be in my life and teach me for 5 weeks… He allowed me to Mrs. A…and that has and will forever change me.
So, as I put my head on my pillow tonight, I’m going to be reminded of moment-living, kingdom-embracing, and that timing is everything.